Priorities...and such like...

I wrote this at the beginning of the year and didn't post it - I have since read it and decided that I should, so here it is...

As I begin this New Year I do so in a completely different place than the one I expected to be in, this time last year. Last year I was in a long term relationship, living with my partner and playing pseudo part time mum to a teenage girl. This year I begin it single, living in my own house on my own, with no children. The latter reads as though it is the booby prize, the lesser of the two...the truth is the exact opposite. I am better off this year than I was last year. I am able to better focus on me and my life and I am therefore closer to God. This has however forced me to consider my priorities, what is most important to me?

First and foremost, my last relationship taught me that marriage and children (in that order) is the single most important goal of my life. I will die happy if I die a wife and mother (in many years time...obviously). Where this is not possible in a relationship...neither is the relationship. This as a priority, naturally leads me to consider the steps that I will take to achieve it. The foundation of this is my partner...whoever he may be...

(Do not for a second think that this is a 'poor, lonely girl' post, it is actually the antithesis of that.)

It is fair to say that my future partner is of no concern to me. I am not worried that I am single and do not worry that I will die alone...I have faith in God that I will find my partner when He believes I am ready and it is right. For this reason it is of no concern.

This has a very freeing effect...my main life goal is in His hands and not mine...which, in a weird circular argument, leaves me free to focus my energies on God. My life is fun again, I am living with the childlike wonder I had forgotten...

My main priority therefore is God.