I've been away for a while...what has been happening...

I have had a weird two weeks since I last posted...I have spent most of it ill in one way or another. First I had a stomach bug, then a virus and then a stiff neck that lasted one very long week. To say that I have felt attacked physically is an understatement. Today I feel better than I have for ages...I had prayer for my neck last night and woke up for it to be a lot looser - Praise the Lord.

The upshot of the stiff neck is that I have been prescribed some drugs which I think are fairly extreme (Diazapam) but was willing to take for any relief earlier this week! However, these drugs are strange and have had a strange effect of making me feel spaced out at work. This on top of the pain in my neck has meant that I have had a week where I have simply made it through the day in a floaty sort of way.

As ever I am inclined to think that all the physical symptoms are a sign of emotional trauma - simply because there is no other explanation and I feel that God is telling me so. It's like He is sat next to me in all His power and humility shaking His head and tutting, saying 'My child, if only you would let Me in. If only you would recieve my Holy Spirit and be healed. Then you would no longer have these random symptoms, for all that you are fighting against would be released to Me. I would take your pain in a heartbeat.'
This message has been peaking in and out of my mind for the last few days and I have heard it from a distance. Seeing it written down makes me want to cry...although I probably won't - more fool me.

It does however, remind of another interesting encounter with God that I have had via a friend. This friend said on his facebook status that Psalm 91 was really speaking to him and to read it and if it spoke to you to like the status and he would pray for you. I did read the Psalm (out of curiousity really as the Bible still remains a fascinating thing to me and I like to read it when I feel I am being guided to a particular part.) It did strike me, especially :

¹ Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
   will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.^[a]
2 I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress,

   my God, in whom I trust.”

 and,

 ⁹ If you say, “The LORD is my refuge,”
   and you make the Most High your dwelling,
¹⁰ no harm will overtake you,
   no disaster will come near your tent.
¹¹ For he will command his angels concerning you
   to guard you in all your ways; 

The message seemed clear - a repetition of the same message I have heard almost daily recently, TRUST in the Lord and make Him your REFUGE.
So I 'liked' the status.

A couple of days later I recieved a message in my Facebook inbox from the friend. He said that he felt God saying that He was for me and that He never leaves me. Then he said that he wasn't sure if this made sense but that God wanted me to know that He was present especially at night and that He didn't rest or slumber but stayed right there.

Night is my most feared time. It is full of nightmares. I had not slept properly for four weeks because of this. What a blessing this word was! It was exactly what I wanted to hear and more than that...it came from a source that has no inkling of my current distresses and so could not have been 'influenced' in any way. What a testimony to tell to unbelievers!! And what a comfort it has been to me for the past week - although the neck issue has ensured that I have not slept as much as I perhaps could have!

Last point to sum up the week. Today, I was approached by a pupil who informed me that they had recently started to attend church and that had some questions about it all. Another teacher (their head of year in fact) had suggested that they come to see me and ask if I would chat it over with them! How amazing! There are many reasons as to why this is amazing that I cannot go into on here except to say that I must be more open about my faith than I realise for a colleague to suggest me to a pupil. When I asked the colleague, they simply said that they did not have the answers but they knew who might, and so suggested me.This pleases me, almost as much as being in the right place to help introduce God's love to this pupil. I have a good relationship with this pupil, even though they are no longer in my class and have always wondered why they had warmed to me more than others - I guess God has plans for now and plans for later...He will turn everything to His glory.

I pray Lord that YOU will give me the words to say to this pupil that will help to edify and reveal to them Your divine love and care so that they may live with Your peace and Holy Spirit in their heart. Amen