Am I evil if I sin????

Yet another blog inspired by the Alpha course last night (I promise I am officially a helper...even if I find I am learning more than teaching!) We had a talk on how to resist evil which naturally led to a discussion that included what evil is and how sin plays a part.

The discussion has got me thinking...one of the problems people have in becoming a Christian is the misconception that Christians and the Church will make them feel guilty about what they are doing wrong. In my experience, I have never felt that my Church leaders were looking down on me no matter what I said or questioned in the first place. However, I have learnt that the difference between a Christian and a Non-Christian is as simple as living for yourself or living for God. John, who gave the talk, suggested that evil is summed up in the belief that I can do whatever I like'. I think he hit the nail on the head.

This however, opens up a whole debate in my mind - if I choose to do something for myself am I evil? Are some people more evil than others? Are some people born evil and so will always be? Should we take into account the evil person's circumstances (mental health/childhood/life difficulties)? I'm not sure that I have the answers to all of these but I'll attempt one anyway!!

If I choose to do something for myself am I evil?

I would say that the definition of evil would be the belief that 'I can do whatever I want'. Selfishness is, for me, the root of evil . By this I do not mean that every time I choose to make myself a cup of coffee I am sinning, the sin comes from actions that I would continue with, without regard to others who may be affected.

For example, a person choosing to stay out all night without thought to tell their family at home, who have subsequently worried and been out searching for the 'missing' person all night. That person has sinned. I wouldn't go as far as to say that they are evil but if they repeat the sinful act then they are living in evil. They are choosing to live for themselves and not for God and others. The stark reality of Christianity is that you choose to live for God or by default, Satan.

One of the problems of society is that there has been an upsurge of RIGHTS and a downfall in RESPONSIBILITY. If people believe that they have the right to this and that then it should follow that they would gain more responsibility. If everyone lived according to the right to do as they please then we would live in a lawless society. It is the act of doing as you please because you have that right and disregarding the responsibility that allows evil to prosper.

As a Christian I believe that I am to live in God's glory and grace and because I am doing that God is changing me from the inside out, I react differently to familiar situations, and all because I am able to reflect the forgiveness and grace that God has bestowed on me. So if I am living for myself and trying to do things my way then yes, I am living in evil.

Are some people born evil and so will always be?
I would say yes and no. If we take the position that evil is living for yourself and a natural inclination towards selfishness, then my answer would be that yes, we are all born with the ability to be evil. God gave us freewill and without His guidance, freewill is often used for unsavoury gains. As people are born unaware of Christ and His payment for us, then we are all open to evil and Satan's plan.

However, it does not follow that a person who commits evil acts is forever evil. If I was to state that people are then I could not call myself a Christian. My hope has to be that all people can be saved and therefore can repent of their sins. This doesn't in anyway belittle the experience of others that have been affected by their actions but it means that they are able to come to live in God's glory.

If I believed that all people who lived in evil (be that major or minor) would always be evil then there would be no-one left to save - I have, and will no doubt, sin again, I am imperfect but because of God's gift of Jesus for me, I will always return to the light and refuse to be brought back to Satan.

Are some people more evil that others?
This is a difficult one for me to answer. I could list people who were generally agreed to be evil by many people, such as Hitler, Ian Brady, Myra Hindley, rapists, murderers, child molesters and say that they are more evil than the person who has an affair, or steals from a shop and leave it there. In the past I would have but now I am more inclined to say that no one person is more 'evil' than the next. Controversial!! I think that some people carry out more evil ACTS than others and so are portrayed as evil but all are able to be saved and repent of their actions. It is not fair for me as an imperfect human being, to judge people for their actions, my part is to trust God. He will be the one to judge and avenge for wrongs. If an 'evil' person has repented (true repentance is not an easy ride, it is facing up to all that you have done and how you have caused pain to others) then they are no worse than a person who has stolen from a shop, once, when they were 5, who has also repented.

If a person continues to repeat an offense, buoyed by only their gratification then they are living in evil, whether that is a 'major' sin or a 'minor' sin.

This does not mean that sinful people are let off. I believe that God is the ultimate judge, there will be payment for sins committed. If the person has repented then they have paid their price, they have owned up to the hurt that they have caused, this is a painful ride and shows real strength in my opinion. If the person continued to live in sin throughout their earthly life then they will pay for all eternity, God will punish them for their actions. I do not know (or indeed, do not want to know) what this will entail but I trust Him to avenge me in any arena that He feels I need vengence for.

Should we take into account the evil person's circumstances (mental health/childhood/life difficulties)?
I would always say that for every crime/evil action there is a context. There is a reason that that person may have committed the crime and that we should be aware of that. Nevertheless, that does not take away the fact that it is an evil act.

In circumstances such as mental health, I am not qualified to comment. The brain is a complex organ and when it malfunctions, it does so with great effect and the consequences of it may or may not be the person's fault. I do not mean to side step this issue but I feel out of my depth with it.

In the other circumstances mentioned I would say that although they might affect the way a person reacts in a situation in the first place that is by no means an excuse. The common phrase,

'hurt people, hurt people'

is often banded around as an explanation for the reason someone raped/murdered another person. 'Oh he had an awful childhood', 'Her husband had left her and threatened to take her kids away, that's why she killed them' . But if this is a reasonable defense then where on earth would personal responsibility come in?

In one of my previous jobs as a Therapeutic Support Worker for children who had been abused I often heard the adage that 'The abused becomes the abuser'. It was generally accepted that if you are abused as a child then there is a high chance that you would repeat it and somehow this was accepted as a reason for parents abusing their children!

I can follow that a person who is abused is more likely to exhibit abusive behaviour IF they do not have other role models but it in no way belittles the crime that they commit. If this argument stood then we could also say that if someone helped you out financially it means that you will repeat this, or that if your parents are upstanding members of the community, then their children will be too. This is false, friends of mine from school who had the best upbringing (their own words) later came to drugs and violence because they CHOSE to.

It is the same for evil acts, regardless of the background, if an act is evil then it is! And they deserve to be punished in the exact same way as the next person. The only way that they can be saved is to own the evil act and ask for forgiveness. I'm sure God would prefer to hear:

'I am sorry for my sins, please forgive me'

than

'I am sorry for my sins, but I was only doing what someone else did to me, I was messed up by it and angry and so I don't think I really deserve as bad a punishment because it's not all my fault. Please forgive me'

An apology has to be wholehearted, or else it is not an apology. People's background might explain why they chose a particular path but it was still a CHOICE and therefore they have to answer for their sins.

The above is only my random mumblings on what is a very emotive subject, please forgive me if it's tripe, I am only learning! Let me know what you think.